just bored.

it is a Monday morning. my second week of working...

pretty boring because i have no works to do today. it seems like it. as for now. I'm getting sleepy ~ huarghhh.

why hadn't i take my dinner last night now I'm freaking hungry!

craving for shushi. I'm gonna get my shushi on the way back home this evening. promise ~

meanwhile checking my calendar..., tomorrow morning meeting at 10.00 then another meeting at 2.30pm. hurmm.


hungry..hungry..hungry. :/

prayer to God for her.

I'm very thankful. to God. that at this age, i just realized how much i love her.

my life without her would mean nothing. I am just really thankful that God lend me a chance to ever feel this way towards her. most of us don't have this chance not till she's gone. so I'm really is thankful.

don't even know how to express this feeling.

I just hope, well, actually i know God knows..

Every time she put that smile on her face. every time she express her joy. I feel great. I'm overwhelmed.

It's alright. If she does not like that i won't do that. it's really alright.

for the past 25 years she was there for me. I promise I'll be here for her ever. no matter what.

Dear god,
let her live long.
let her be happy.
let me be the one who make her happy.
let us be happy.
bless us especially her.
give me strength, give me courage and patience to always be there to always be committed and to always keep my words. to always make her happy.
amen.

Love you mom. really do.

sayang..sayang ku!

i want to sing a birthday song.
to this lovely niece of mine. heee.
it is her birthday today. she's officially 12!
she's so excited and she sent me a voicemail...
reminding me to buy her a present.
*kemain tau budak2 sekarang main mintak-mintak pulak.nasib baik lah sayang. if tak... huh *

and i did! sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!!


Dear Nurazira Farhana binti Nurazman....
this is your aunt Tia Lalalalalalaala..
singing a song...


happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you....happy birthday to..kakak!
happy birthday to you.....~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


with love,
Tia. will always always always Love you. will always be there for you.

p/s : cool apa dapat Tia cam nih huh? hahaha. muwahhhxxx!

the guy ; relationship.

It is exactly like buying a shoes. a dream shoes. we have plenty of options for example; heels, flats, pumps etc. so we go looking for the right shoes.

some people got so lucky that they find it at the first store that they entered. for some other people, it may takes longer. we walked every floors, visit every single stores, sometime we even go back to the previous store and then keep going to the one after another. often we failed to meet our perfect desire's match. sometime we finally got fascinated by one. or in some unfortunate time, we just have to pick one, not because we like it nor because they are attractive. merely because we, after all need a pair of shoes.

and then, this is the story we often, heard.....

It appeared to be beautiful, perfect shape, perfect color. dream shoes! but when you try it on, it does not fit well. too big or too tight. but because it is the one that we dream to have, we create excuses...

'i ate too much today, my feet expand. it should be fine tomorrow'

'owh it's the material. wear it couple of times, they would fit well'

so we bought it. we put it on. it feels like victory. we feel pretty. can't be more happier! life is so beautiful. 'i got new shoes! exactly like how i wanted it to be! tee hee'! :D

but it does not take longer than ten minutes or farther than 100 meters when we started to feel uncomfortable. as we walk, it start to hurt. the pain become obvious steps by steps further. but we make believe that it is our size and it fit well. we pretend that we are so happy walking in those while we actually suffer the pain every seconds.

some times ago, I had to wear one of my shoes 12 times before it finally become perfectly fit. do not imagine how did it hurt. some take months. and some just have to, in the end accept the truth, so they either dumped it out or they just give it away to others.

lesson is, pick your size! choose the one that fit you well. because if you don't, you gonna have to suffer lots lots of pain. sometime it worth it. often, it is not. no matter how fascinating it is, if it's not fit, leave it for others. yours is out there yet to be discovered.

even if it means a flat moderately looking white color gladiator. if it fits well then why not? :/ yes i have one. the one that always make me comfortable in every steps that i take.

owh

and owh because i bought a beautiful shoes today




it doesn't fit me that well but I'm a risk taker *actually i can't resist good looks!!* :P so I don't mind to suffer a few times for it. heheheheh.

ambitions

POLICE when i was 7. ahhaha. don't ask why. all kids only know police and thief at this age. and mom says jadi yang baik. so yup polis lah! ;D

SINGER when i was 10. ermm. i was 8 when i competed one stage with Amy search's Nabila huda's best friend and Nur syamimi arziana [once was incorporated with Andy lala dan selalu keluar tv ;P] *considered 'org2 famous lar ok'. hee. ohh ulang semula. competed with them in a competition and i won 3rd! E.though cikgu cakap my voice was tremendously beautiful and should won 1st tapi sbb i wasn't associated with any tv station so judges bias. ahh tak kisah la!

FASHION DESIGNER, when i was 14. growing up. love clothes. know boys nak melawa nak cantik-cantik..hahah *gedik*!

INTERIOR DESIGNER when i was 17. tapi batalkan niat sebab dapat tahu classmate macam ramai sangat nak jadi ID jugak. lost appetite. i know..i am weird. i hate thing that mostly chosen by people dengan sengaja! no identity and no genuinity.

CIVIL ENGINEER while i was doing both my diploma and degree. belajar engineering takkan nak jadi cikgu pulak kan? typically thinking that way lar. padahal i don't even know whats the profession is all about and i don't even imagine myself as one. *manusia yang sesat haihh*

i constantly asked myself. cita-cita tu apa sebenarnya? and i just thought it should not be about name or label or ermmm i dunno but i think ambition isn't a verb.

it is not about Who we are. it's more about What we are. bukan tentang Menjadi sesuatu tapi adalah tentang Mendapatkan sesuatu...being in the state of owning, being contented at a certain stage of life. can?

so start thinking....

I wanna be beautifully me inside out forever, meeting prince charming who aren't scared of dirt but always clean [if you know what i mean.hope you don't bahaahah], having a good flow of money in, living peacefully in a loving home, being contented in a moderately happy life, sincerely love and being loved. now that! what i call ambition. wheeew!

I dream big.yes. but deep down inside, i know i only need little. :)

aging. cheers!

there it goes my last can of milo. i had 4 cans of drinks today. two nescafes and two milos. couldn't get enough of cocoa and caffeine. something to do with the boredom-management thing i think. urghh

Does it happen often nowadays? that the moment i walk out of the house i started to feel like someone's following, looking..like uhhh uhh uhhh ~ *paranoia* huh.

and then i started to be me again. especially when i'm damn bored. i mengarut-out! like hell. so i googled stuffs *legitimately*. so i found and seen a lot! *grin*

it is weird how emotions just keep switching places with one another. one time i'm damn bored, one time i'm anxious, one time i'm moody *can't believe this-for i actually hate moody people*, one time i'm like super heartless, no feelings, emptiness attack. hmmm

up to date. i have more than SIX wedding invitations from friends. *thank you for inviting guys. i had bunch of super fakers from hi-skul claiming that we were friend yet they never really were friends to me. i did not even exist in their life dictionary. so yeah whatever. God bless you fakers*

and i believe the number (wedding invitations) is actually ascending. so expect another five for this year. may be more!

so they are getting married like seriously???Like how old are you guys again??? I thought we just finished school..?

urmm okay maybe i should put it this way. how old are WE *aahh~ better!* again?

25! 25! 25! 25! and 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.W.H

awesome. okay. congratulations all! U.G.H

and so,

so i cant' access my Fb account due to server problem what shits so ever! lets do blog.

so i watched Betty. Betty says that blogging is for those who do not own a tv station or a magazine to channel their thoughts in order to be heard. i say..so true!

so if there's one thing that i would like people around me to know about me..it would be this ; I hate WAITING, terribly! i would not be angry but my heart would hurt. it's like you're not being responsible..

so i am a caring person. naturally. especially to those who are sensitive. i take extra caution not to break their hearts. it would be nice if they could do just quite the same to me..

so i just hope...next time you wanna say anything.. watch it first, otherwise, please keep your words.

so i do not want to be blamed for not being caring for not waiting for you. i do not want to walk with a ' i do not care ' price tag, on!

so because, it wasn't the first time..you people are doing it over and over again to me. i have only one heart. it was born fragile. now you can't keep on crashing, tearing it apart, smashing it into pieces. have mercy!

so it wasn't anger. it won't be anger.. if it's me..definitely it wouldn't be anger. it is just pain in heart.

so i actually waited..