my matthew Mr.

tall. broad shoulders. strong jaws. fierce stare. thin and gorgeous! almost perfectly my ideal dream guy features.

that was the first impression i had when i first met you.

i remembered. it was in a cafe. it was 1800 hour. eversince, I never could erase you from my mind.

you invaded my life, my heart and my mind. every seconds of my life, there was you, without you even knowing.

few months later, the first time our eyes met. it broke me into tears. I did not know why or nor did i understood. but the feeling was a deep, heart-aching thing.

I was thrilled. i thought i saw it in his eyes. i thought i really did saw it. but a year passed. nothing had changed.

I kept living in the shadow of you.

I kept hoping that my dream was meant to be true.

I kept longing for you.

I kept praying to have you.

yeahh that was for four years ago. now you found your mistress. happily together. at least seems like you are both happily together.

you know when people always say. if it's not for you, no matter how or what you do, it will never come to you.

I believe in that too. so i actually accept the truth. that in this life, there is no such thing as 'me and you'. I really do accept that.

I moved on from you. while you are having a blast life too.

but now. often. when i see you and i see her too.. why do my heart ache?

why do i have this enviousness?

why am i being jealous?

and most terribly now, why am i still hoping that 'us' could even be possible again??!

I envy her!

and i want you.

this is a bad feeling and bad intention I'm coming through.

because people come and go from our lives. but some people when they come, they just conquer all.

ugh. I envy I envy I envy!

and I miss, yes i miss, ohh I miss you. load!

I miss having the feeling of missing someone, like i miss you.

sickness!

I was sleeping, this morning when i smell my mom cooking the sambal ikan bilis. smell was good, in fact is my favorite yet i felt nauseous suddenly at that moment and my head was like a spinning gasing out of a sudden.

I couldn't took it. I quickly ran to the toilet. man, nauseous like hell! head was spinning, feeling like throwing up but nothing was coming out!

I could feel it in my stomach, something is building up making me feeling so much uncomfortable, headache and nauseous! I hate this. :( I can't help crying silently because the feeling is awefull!

this is bad! I couldn't even stand more than two minutes. my head doesn't stop spinning..I can't walk properly.

I am feeling very sick and weak!

I can't eat anything... I can't even open my eyes that wide.

now I'm left alone lying on my bed. I don't even have the appetite to sleep but I can't stand, I can't sit.

I took some paracetamols. doesn't seem to work.

I am waiting for my little sister to come back home and buy me my tom yam pedas panas. I really need that so badly!

this is not good. seriously not good. I don't wanna fall sick please..

now im terribly lying down on bed, Fb-ing (and it's boring pleaseee!)


p/s : may Allah bless me so that i can get well asap.amen.

25th birthday.

my birth date. 9th of May.

so yesterday was my birthday. few years ago, I had a plan. I planned to have a grand birthday party hosted by myself for family and closest friends of mine to celebrate my birthday...

Little did I know that I would be broke on my 25th birthday. I mean broke enough to host a grand party! phewws!

it was a Monday-birthday. did not feel like a birthday at all yaww.

I had meeting at 10 am in the morning. ended up almost 12 in the noon. then later, done some emailing, last minute notices and all, before rushed out to Cyberjaya to meet up with partners I mean business partner at 1.30 pm.

I didn't have any fancy meals at all. I just had a drink at pappa rich ; pappa mocha costed 6 ringgit, paid by Mr Kumar. thank you so much Sir! *perfect birthday gift durhhh hahaha*

meeting ended around 1630, rushed back to KL and my superior said I can go back home early. *another perfect birthday gift!*

owwhhh have to mention this, i got free voice call maxis to maxis remember??? I didn't even have time to call. and even more better when finally I was free to call, nobody picked up! blerghhhh! parfait parfait!

and this one sister of mine did not wish me, thank you very much sister. you made your point!

ohh and some important people in my life [used to be..i got to say,] did not even remember my birthday I think, I strongly think so! thank you for that also.

back at home, another sister of mine was there with her kid. well I think it was more like a 'birthday visit' kinda sweet. thanks!

my mama. she learned how to bake lately. she baked a red velvet cake and moist choc cake for me. the cake was horribly ugly must say but taste sumpah sedap! I'm overwhelmed and the kids were so happy because Tia was there on Monday, something so rare to happen before hahaha. we had fun eating ohh yes we do! :D

of all those moments happening on the May 9th, 2011 I could never forget just one thing up and foremost. the feeling when my IBU kissed me four times on my both cheeks. It was intensely genuine and full of love i could not express. it was like she wouldn't wanted to let go off me, till i have to say 'dah lah Bu..banyaknya nak cium' hahahhaa. I was superbly overwhelmed by that! i love my mom... :)

p/s : dear you, that i expected a lot on my birthday....i am not mad at you. i shouldn't be. i'm a bit frustrated yes, but why ~ shouldn't be also! only, it's good to know now. where did you stand in my life then, where would you stand next in my life and most obviously where do I STAND in yours.

p/s : birthday presents are yet to come from zaza, my sister ayu, my nieces and nephews..hhehe ohhh so good to have family after all! all that matters!




p/s : grand birthday party will still be hosted. ermmm let say next year and adding up another important guest to that party; BOYFRIEND! huewhuewhuew! owhh thinking..... better have two separate party. one decent party for all my lovely family and lovely friends, another should be vain one; guests include boyfriend and girlfriends! hahahahha no wonder lah plan suka tak jadi, sebab selalu ada hidden agenda jeh. wheewwws! ;P

taurean female

p/s Look, I'm just bored at work so i googled and found this.
in the spirits of my forthcoming birthday next week!
cheers for taurus! ;D

http://www.miacarmel.com/zodiac-signs/taurus-female-horoscope.html

and i really am fascinated with the way this writer potrayed taurus. make me feel so proud to be a taurus myself. *gedik mode* :P

http://lovestoryblog.com/taurus-woman-horoscope.html

practical joke second edition.

Funny. that was my first impression. Hilarious was the second.

yes! funny how you call people selfish. funny how you call me selfish.

when the one and only person, who owns a private room with two cupboards while others stuck in a tin-of-sardine-space-like, is you!

when people ask you favors, you can simply say no. so now when you ask me a favor why do i have to say yes everytime?

ohh and you call me names. you make faces in front of me. hello ~ i did not even say NO. i have not even finish my words yet as always you explode like a crazy woman!

I would really love to ask you one thing. if it was me, in the middle of the night, asking you favors [well it isn't really favors when you order people to do your stuff, but in decent words, still we call it favors]. knowing you, you wont even gonna give it a damn care!

but what is the point asking. answer is obvious. extremely obvious!

again. funny how you can simply call me selfish. remember i was the one who turun naik bukit dan berebut bas everytime to settle your things. had i ever complained? and i don't intend to complain now though.

I was the one who never really care if I'm tired or not just to constantly send your car to the workshop, to the service center. ain't complaining. because it was hundred percent willingness and sincere.

I mean, come one. this isn't bragging off session of what we can do or what we can't. or not even what you did or what you did not. or also not about how much you helped or how much i would help.

we are two grown up people. we do things for each other. we are living together. so tolerate, and be relevant. because it is obviously so not relevant to me that you call me names and you separated the kids from me just that i did not help with that one tiny request of yours. (please be reminded, it was your own recklessness of not being alert on the due date lady!)

thank you very much for a tough living with you, everyday of seeing your 'sweet faces' and everytime of going through your majestic protocol!

p/s : I already bought you, your graduation present months ago anyway.
yeaaa...how much selfishness is there in me heh?
God bless sisters!

Pre menstruation symptoms

Emotionally unstable i tend to loose spirits to live. I woke up late and not feeling like going to work everyday.

I woke up every day at different time. today i woke up very late and i went out from home at 8.10 am in the morning. not healthy at all. hahhaha 3rd week at work and coming in late? so not healthy!

I texted some people these days and they did not reply. so I never text back ever since. ohh yes I'm offended and yes call me emotional.

I extremely long for things. ridiculous one. ayork! shame shame shame. don't dare to spill. heee.

I crave for McD everyday. everyday feel like eating ayam spicy mcD and milo large one! huhh. pohkai! I almost lose it this evening, was very much close to drive to McD ampang again like the other day but then few seconds later my senses just got back up in me. RM 14 saved. Lord, thank you for that.

Gaji isn't in yet. it is 5th already still not in.haprak! pretty frustrating! but I'm new. I shall say no words ~ speaking impressions. just wait and observe. huhh.

I am craving for lots of thing. I drink coke a lot. I dream chocolate everyday. I want meatball from Ikea so badly! ugh.

I'm turning into a monster. food monster. bahhaha hell no! the answer was quite simple and constant. period! ughhh.

kemas-kemas dan cabut dari office tepat pada 5.30 ptg. balik dan mandi sebersih-bersihnya dan makan. and then snacking some more rocky stick ~ wahhh lega ~ ;D

those who don't really understand the chronology of this post here. worry not. and don't try to understand it. because you won't...

this is just symptoms of the disease i constantly have every single month. cheers!


p/s : tomorrow lunch would be nasi ayam pedas gila sri damansara utama or ayam spicy mcD plus large milo for dinner yeayyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just bored.

it is a Monday morning. my second week of working...

pretty boring because i have no works to do today. it seems like it. as for now. I'm getting sleepy ~ huarghhh.

why hadn't i take my dinner last night now I'm freaking hungry!

craving for shushi. I'm gonna get my shushi on the way back home this evening. promise ~

meanwhile checking my calendar..., tomorrow morning meeting at 10.00 then another meeting at 2.30pm. hurmm.


hungry..hungry..hungry. :/

prayer to God for her.

I'm very thankful. to God. that at this age, i just realized how much i love her.

my life without her would mean nothing. I am just really thankful that God lend me a chance to ever feel this way towards her. most of us don't have this chance not till she's gone. so I'm really is thankful.

don't even know how to express this feeling.

I just hope, well, actually i know God knows..

Every time she put that smile on her face. every time she express her joy. I feel great. I'm overwhelmed.

It's alright. If she does not like that i won't do that. it's really alright.

for the past 25 years she was there for me. I promise I'll be here for her ever. no matter what.

Dear god,
let her live long.
let her be happy.
let me be the one who make her happy.
let us be happy.
bless us especially her.
give me strength, give me courage and patience to always be there to always be committed and to always keep my words. to always make her happy.
amen.

Love you mom. really do.

sayang..sayang ku!

i want to sing a birthday song.
to this lovely niece of mine. heee.
it is her birthday today. she's officially 12!
she's so excited and she sent me a voicemail...
reminding me to buy her a present.
*kemain tau budak2 sekarang main mintak-mintak pulak.nasib baik lah sayang. if tak... huh *

and i did! sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!!


Dear Nurazira Farhana binti Nurazman....
this is your aunt Tia Lalalalalalaala..
singing a song...


happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you....happy birthday to..kakak!
happy birthday to you.....~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


with love,
Tia. will always always always Love you. will always be there for you.

p/s : cool apa dapat Tia cam nih huh? hahaha. muwahhhxxx!

the guy ; relationship.

It is exactly like buying a shoes. a dream shoes. we have plenty of options for example; heels, flats, pumps etc. so we go looking for the right shoes.

some people got so lucky that they find it at the first store that they entered. for some other people, it may takes longer. we walked every floors, visit every single stores, sometime we even go back to the previous store and then keep going to the one after another. often we failed to meet our perfect desire's match. sometime we finally got fascinated by one. or in some unfortunate time, we just have to pick one, not because we like it nor because they are attractive. merely because we, after all need a pair of shoes.

and then, this is the story we often, heard.....

It appeared to be beautiful, perfect shape, perfect color. dream shoes! but when you try it on, it does not fit well. too big or too tight. but because it is the one that we dream to have, we create excuses...

'i ate too much today, my feet expand. it should be fine tomorrow'

'owh it's the material. wear it couple of times, they would fit well'

so we bought it. we put it on. it feels like victory. we feel pretty. can't be more happier! life is so beautiful. 'i got new shoes! exactly like how i wanted it to be! tee hee'! :D

but it does not take longer than ten minutes or farther than 100 meters when we started to feel uncomfortable. as we walk, it start to hurt. the pain become obvious steps by steps further. but we make believe that it is our size and it fit well. we pretend that we are so happy walking in those while we actually suffer the pain every seconds.

some times ago, I had to wear one of my shoes 12 times before it finally become perfectly fit. do not imagine how did it hurt. some take months. and some just have to, in the end accept the truth, so they either dumped it out or they just give it away to others.

lesson is, pick your size! choose the one that fit you well. because if you don't, you gonna have to suffer lots lots of pain. sometime it worth it. often, it is not. no matter how fascinating it is, if it's not fit, leave it for others. yours is out there yet to be discovered.

even if it means a flat moderately looking white color gladiator. if it fits well then why not? :/ yes i have one. the one that always make me comfortable in every steps that i take.

owh

and owh because i bought a beautiful shoes today




it doesn't fit me that well but I'm a risk taker *actually i can't resist good looks!!* :P so I don't mind to suffer a few times for it. heheheheh.

ambitions

POLICE when i was 7. ahhaha. don't ask why. all kids only know police and thief at this age. and mom says jadi yang baik. so yup polis lah! ;D

SINGER when i was 10. ermm. i was 8 when i competed one stage with Amy search's Nabila huda's best friend and Nur syamimi arziana [once was incorporated with Andy lala dan selalu keluar tv ;P] *considered 'org2 famous lar ok'. hee. ohh ulang semula. competed with them in a competition and i won 3rd! E.though cikgu cakap my voice was tremendously beautiful and should won 1st tapi sbb i wasn't associated with any tv station so judges bias. ahh tak kisah la!

FASHION DESIGNER, when i was 14. growing up. love clothes. know boys nak melawa nak cantik-cantik..hahah *gedik*!

INTERIOR DESIGNER when i was 17. tapi batalkan niat sebab dapat tahu classmate macam ramai sangat nak jadi ID jugak. lost appetite. i know..i am weird. i hate thing that mostly chosen by people dengan sengaja! no identity and no genuinity.

CIVIL ENGINEER while i was doing both my diploma and degree. belajar engineering takkan nak jadi cikgu pulak kan? typically thinking that way lar. padahal i don't even know whats the profession is all about and i don't even imagine myself as one. *manusia yang sesat haihh*

i constantly asked myself. cita-cita tu apa sebenarnya? and i just thought it should not be about name or label or ermmm i dunno but i think ambition isn't a verb.

it is not about Who we are. it's more about What we are. bukan tentang Menjadi sesuatu tapi adalah tentang Mendapatkan sesuatu...being in the state of owning, being contented at a certain stage of life. can?

so start thinking....

I wanna be beautifully me inside out forever, meeting prince charming who aren't scared of dirt but always clean [if you know what i mean.hope you don't bahaahah], having a good flow of money in, living peacefully in a loving home, being contented in a moderately happy life, sincerely love and being loved. now that! what i call ambition. wheeew!

I dream big.yes. but deep down inside, i know i only need little. :)

aging. cheers!

there it goes my last can of milo. i had 4 cans of drinks today. two nescafes and two milos. couldn't get enough of cocoa and caffeine. something to do with the boredom-management thing i think. urghh

Does it happen often nowadays? that the moment i walk out of the house i started to feel like someone's following, looking..like uhhh uhh uhhh ~ *paranoia* huh.

and then i started to be me again. especially when i'm damn bored. i mengarut-out! like hell. so i googled stuffs *legitimately*. so i found and seen a lot! *grin*

it is weird how emotions just keep switching places with one another. one time i'm damn bored, one time i'm anxious, one time i'm moody *can't believe this-for i actually hate moody people*, one time i'm like super heartless, no feelings, emptiness attack. hmmm

up to date. i have more than SIX wedding invitations from friends. *thank you for inviting guys. i had bunch of super fakers from hi-skul claiming that we were friend yet they never really were friends to me. i did not even exist in their life dictionary. so yeah whatever. God bless you fakers*

and i believe the number (wedding invitations) is actually ascending. so expect another five for this year. may be more!

so they are getting married like seriously???Like how old are you guys again??? I thought we just finished school..?

urmm okay maybe i should put it this way. how old are WE *aahh~ better!* again?

25! 25! 25! 25! and 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.W.H

awesome. okay. congratulations all! U.G.H

and so,

so i cant' access my Fb account due to server problem what shits so ever! lets do blog.

so i watched Betty. Betty says that blogging is for those who do not own a tv station or a magazine to channel their thoughts in order to be heard. i say..so true!

so if there's one thing that i would like people around me to know about me..it would be this ; I hate WAITING, terribly! i would not be angry but my heart would hurt. it's like you're not being responsible..

so i am a caring person. naturally. especially to those who are sensitive. i take extra caution not to break their hearts. it would be nice if they could do just quite the same to me..

so i just hope...next time you wanna say anything.. watch it first, otherwise, please keep your words.

so i do not want to be blamed for not being caring for not waiting for you. i do not want to walk with a ' i do not care ' price tag, on!

so because, it wasn't the first time..you people are doing it over and over again to me. i have only one heart. it was born fragile. now you can't keep on crashing, tearing it apart, smashing it into pieces. have mercy!

so it wasn't anger. it won't be anger.. if it's me..definitely it wouldn't be anger. it is just pain in heart.

so i actually waited..

I don't wanna have a heart. :_________ ((

okay actually baru je lepas off laptop neh.and then tiba2 sekarang rasa marah sangat kepada sesuatu and i don't even know nak cakap kat siapa. huhh gosh..it's suck heh when you really hate something but you have no choice but just to accept it or you really wanna do something but you just can't for some reason.

i just hate to look at those bitches. once a bitch always a bitch they said. i say, once a bitch twice, a slut! i just thought in my mind. tolong lah berhenti jadi seorang primadona! walaupun kau mmg seorang primadona yang bagus. everything just go your way. lucky you! at least buat masa sekarang.

God is fair isn't HE??? i'll just wait. with this pain and hate. i would wait.

dan kemudian ada satu cerita lagi. ibu bapa yang senang-senang tinggalkan anak-anak bawah umur tengah-tengah malam. i mean 11 pm?? seriously?? your kids are going to school tommorow man... you guys seriously just leave them home?? let them just take care of themselves?? like omg seriously dude??? shame.

it's suck to hear this 'haah mom n dad aren't home. macam biasalah. takpe lar. biarlah malas nak fikir. esok when i go to school.i will be happy again'. seriously that hurts me much! i feel like crying for them.

okay seriously guys. i think you guys don't have a heart! not at all. or may be those alcohols actually did damaged your brain hard enough.

L : dorg pegi mana?
N : mcm biasa lah...
L: adik buat ape??
N:tgok tv..
L:ok takpe lah. jaga adik ok. nanti tido. ye?
N:ok [suara sebak. i know tears coming down!]
L: i love you..
N: love you too.

at this point of time. i just hope that i don't own a heart. so i don't feel anything. i won't care about anything. i wish thing could be easy like that.

because my heart just care so much. my heart is fragile that way. my heart cry easily.

and yes. it's a big deal for me. big full deal!

don't say i never warned you ~

Be careful who you open up to.. Only a few actually C A R E, the rest are just C U R I O U S

earth hour holiday.

never thought of celebrating earth hour 2011 in Langkawi. but that was it. i just got back from having serene dinner by the sea. lots of mat salleh plus minah sallehah here. together we ate and spread the spirit of mother nature. *super love the idea*

candles are everywhere in this Mutiara Burau Bay resort. it is a very cold night with wild wave of the sea. fantastics.

chocolate shopping session, done today's evening, at pekan Kuah. yummmss plenty of dark chocolate. *favourite!*

while i'm writing this..kids are on the bed watching Mr bean..sekejap lagi mata semua mesti pejam kuat. penat sangat i can see that. hee.

an awkward feeling thinking my coke cans are now sharing the same space with those tiger and carlsberg.. ermmm.. ~

tommorow session... most probably going snorkeling and bagi ikan gigit kaki. =)

p/s : feel like missing somebody. awkward again. hahaha. goodnight all.

Mad and mumble.

I'm mad. no no i'm just disappointed. naaahhh i'm mad actually. well, i'm in a state where everything just doesn't work out the way it should or at least the way i imagine it would. i'm furious. with own self. did i make a wrong decision? did i make a wrong move? i miscalculated it?? urghhh..

I only have this one question in my mind right now...

why does it always easy for others, why does it come the hardest way for me?

and i don't even know to whom that this question should be thrown.

craving mcD, for they always know how to please me. = )

kura-kura

i deleted you from my FB. obviously that i don't wanna be friend with you anymore. were you too blind to see that? or too dumb to realize that?you send me msges on FB. i did not reply to any. wasn't it obvious enough?

and when you see me online on ym. you pretend like we are good friend saying 'hi' * with giggling-white-tooth emoticon*? and then 'blink2 eyes emoticon'...lets see when i don't reply somemore u says 'sombongnyeee'. was that a joke please??!

p/s seriously because you were so damn pathetically annoying guy back then, that's y i dumbed you. it is just my nature to hate those who don't actually know who i am yet pretend like we share a bed! acting like you are the closest to me, that you know all about me and start to bitch out about stuffs *related to me*, more than my best friend would do. that was pretty amazingly annoying.

i bet you don't know that? so kura-kura. and your not forgiven. and yes i am mean. and yess i don't care. you might wanna call me bitch. 'like i care?!' sungguh tidak kesah okay.

just like coffee.for the best quality, keep only the best beans
throw the rest.they are simply not worth it for keeping.

I love hazelnut coffee.
the fine quality one. sips.

girlfriend.

she with her girlfriend.

i miss my ayue... we used to tell each other everything that happen in our life, everyday that we met before we went into the call floor. now that we no longer working together. i really am missing those time. because texting on the phone lack some real expressions, it does not feel that good.

however girlfriend, i would try to listen to your wise words *wise words from you heh? rolling eyes kejap* ahhaha. those words help i guess. it is time to think about myself huh? ohh dan dengar cakap mak whatever it is.. e.though parent can be ridiculous at times huh *ur such anak mama ok!*

thank you for that. now i'm so fine again. dah tak nak marah-marah lagi. my heart's getting darker day by day bila asik nak fikir pasal orang-orang jahat dan bila asik nak benci mereka. like you said... e.though it doesn't seems right, just ignore it. that's the best that i can do.

p/s : i wanna hear good news from both of us the next time we meet again okay... can't wait jumpa and gedik2 dgn you lagi. hahahahhaa. cepat doa that i get a job soon nanti we go wayang together. my treat! ngehh.


love,
your girlfriend. ; P

monalisa.

kau memang perempuan paling fucker that i have ever known exist in this world! u have the most thicker pig skin on your face, i have no doubts! babi babi babi!

how can u just walked in ohh you parked far away...and u walked in like a coward! coward bitch! yet you put that mask on. that innocent mask on. you played that character perfectly monalisa! i salute on you for that! you speak so tenderly, almost like crying, being in that role perfectly. fooling all those people that are willingly to be fooled!

i really wanna tell you one thing. i read your diary long ago. i saw that message from your friend. she said ' shut up u bitch.u are a slut. u are just a pain in the ass !' I think she's damn right! like 8 years ago..someone already called you bitch? wheewws.

kau perempuan paling tak tahu malu dan tak sedar diri langsung! you don't own a heart! at least i'm sure that dark heart of yours, your family isn't there right?! fuuhhhhhhh..man i'm furious..i am.

sorry that i'm cursing. i was forced to shut up. i was forced to be dumb. this is my only chance! i should have a right to speak up. why do i have to shut my hell mouth up?

i hate you people! you guys lost your minds, it is a free country alright, democracy alright. but not in this. not anymore that this time is to tolerate. shame on you all! you lost insanity, you lost justification, you guys just let yourself to be fooled! psychology isn't practical at this time sedar lah sket please??? i hate that! i hate that!

ohh and that person waves you goodbye. aahhh ~! macam lah
kau sedang melakukan sesuatu yang amat mulia seperti
kau nak pergi berbakti berperang berjuang untuk bangsa atau
negara. waves to you goodbye macam 'kitorg akan rindu kau
sangat nanti dear Monalisa!..pulanglah cepat *tears*'
aahhh ~ merapu sangat! muntah sekarang!

I spit on your face! because i hate this moment so much, with every drops of my blood that i'm hating this too much!.

Dear you.

Dear you,

you remind me of me. that's what i like about you, that you remind me of me.

thank you.

pig-shit! that's what i called it y'all!

mr F says : just my advice to you lar.....nasihatkan dia..i mean jgn lah keras-keras sangat...u
know this is like end of month...orang dah gaji kan.nanti kalau keras-keras sangat
dengan dia takut dia jadi rebellious plak..u know kang dia terus tak balik-balik.

kasi bom lah itu babi banyak berak lah sekarang ~!

aaahhhh for god's sake lah mr F..since when did she is not a rebel? since when did she wears a tag 'innocent and fragile kid, handle with care' ? bullshit!
everyday i have to listen to this lame-crappy-cheapsales-joke haaa??????


p/s : nak menipu biar ada class! because we human aren't idiots *oppppsssy* like you guys. shame on you! boooooo!

practical joke

people can be very ridiculous sometimes. we people find it easy to talk about others. sebagai contoh if we saw on tv, the drug addicts, oftenly we would say 'bunuh je sekor2 menyusahkan hidup orang, menghabiskan duit kerajaan je hantar diorang ni semua dekat pusat serenti' or sometime if we saw rebellious youth, involved with alcohols, go clubbings, random sex. surely we would say ' hantar je semua masuk pusat pemulihan akhlak..bla bla bla..and blaasss'

the thing here is, if those things involve your own people, i mean your own family. if it is your son who involve with drugs or your own daughter who is a rebellious bitch, messing out with your patience, giving you heartache every time, the one that make you cry in the middle of the night, the one that take away your goodnight sleep because she is not home when it is already 2 in the morning. would you have the courage?! would you, with your own both hands drag your daughter to that 'pusat pemulihan' as what you always said about other people's daughter .. ' anak mcm ni hantar je lah masuk pusat tuh baru jadi orang..and such' would you? ask yourself. and I'm asking myself as well...

i just thought we people should have our lessons. when we ourselves, can't even dare to have that courage. maybe we should stop being judgmental and decide for others. when the only thing that you dare to do is back the story up with nonsense. well.. let me tell a story.

scene 1:
once upon a time there was a girl.named Lisa.she has a bf. ugly and fat.the bf i mean.she lied a lot to people.her father hates the bf.he isn't just fugly in the face.he's also fucking ugly at behaviors.so the daddy asked Lisa to stop seeing the bf.Lisa does, not what her daddy says.she keep telling lies that she's not seeing him anymore.one day she caught red handed.and then came out a story. the bf beat her all the time.the bf actually threaten her.that's why she doesn't leave the bf.when she actually wants to. ahem.her story is truth. but still.. ahem.

scene 2:
months passed.so Lisa says she doesn't anymore seeing him yet suspiciously she's texting someone every single nights.shorten up the story.she caught redhanded again. blaahhh. after all, she 's a liar.it is freaking awful that 'tembelang sudah pecah', she did not came home that night *creating a backup story* while daddy at home is so pissed off, worry, disappointed, and mad! daddy says ' u just wait, wait till u come back home'. ahem.

scene 3:
Lisa is home.at noon.packing up some clothes.she takes daddy out.'kat rumah tak sesuai nak bercakap..maybe'.when they got back home....tadaaaa~! daddy changed his mind.daddy warned everyone 'do not mess her up.don't ask any question, do not!' wheewwws! suprise2... Lisa then leaves the house.that night, she calls in.'i'm not coming home sbb *another bullshit lovely lies*'.daddy says 'no!, i'm tolerating with you, please co-operate, and blahh blahh blahh...make sure u come back home tonight. Lisa says 'okay...' Ahem!.

scene 4:
Lisa does not come home daddy...pity you! you and your hopes. she doesn't listen huhh.it is 5 nights already and no sign of Lisa and no phone calls at all.'no mercy from her, dad. can't you see??' does she cares??? blerrghhh!. now big brother has some issues with that.so big brother speaks to dad.big bro come out with full theory that explains only one obvious thing which is 'she is a liar, she does not care about you, she is a liar, she is a selfish, she is an idiot *that fat bitch strangled u yet u still have feeling for that monster? idiot*. she is a liar. beware of that' hard work big bro has done.you guys think it works??? well... ahem.ahem.ahem.

scene5:
' that guy threaten her again...that guy follow her sampai situh.tempat tu.she said to me she does not want to be with him anymore.lelaki ni dah berani kacau dia balik ni...she's freaking out.. Lisa ni dah kene bomoh ni....we can't be that strict with her..kene lembut2 dengan dia... ' says.. daddy! *rolling eyes*!! who tells you that dad??? well... LISA off course.she tells you that?! and dad believes that! dad does not get one clear thing. 'Lisa is a liar' phewwwss.

what the hell of a story that is.....

come on people.after all that happened, after all that she has done.the conclusion is... 'dia sudah di bomohkan! kena bomoh seyhh!'. choose something better than that tak boleh ke? something less hilarious than that can you dad?for the past 7 'beautiful' years of Lisa's stories i have heard, now at the very climax of thing, you still wanna make excuses for her that 'it must be a black magics!' if only Lisa could hear that, i bet she would claps out loud! ' I won first prize!'

to listen to this kind of entertaining story
mestilah kena layan keropok lekor.baru kawww.
macam tengok filem hindustan pulak terasa.. yumms.

p/s : my advice is, have courage.what's right is right.what's wrong is always wrong. even if it's the hardest thing to do when it involve your own people. ADMIT! have courage to do so..please. because it's just sickeningly hurting someone else that might not be important in the picture ~ so sickeningly hurting!

Kata Hati.

it is 25th February 2011. i resigned. finally.

my last day with TD, I lead the team with 13 sales with secured me $130 commission a.k.a fast cash in a day. *proud*. it was just a fantastic friday that we as a team reached 93 sales at 5.30 pm. well..it is something that you might don't even understand and i am not proud to tell. ahem.

i had lunch with ayue, ah joe, boon kin and ah kam at mcD. it was a treat. *thank you guys* ohh and ah kam bought me van houlten choc and a sneaker bar *i'm so touched* actually i was expecting a bouquet of roses maybe..hahaha but it did not happen. *berhenti berharap* ngahahahah.

at the exit interview, i bitched out about the company kaww kaww punya. there was a question that asked ' what could have been done to stop you from departure?' i said 'NOTHING' and i could see the face expression from the HR staff 'wallah berlagak sial perempuan neh' kind of. *message delivered successfully*

there it goes. another history of my life. decision have been made. gotta have to bear the consequences. i haven't got any interview or job offer yet i just resign. a wise logical mind would say that was the most stupid decision i had ever made. but kata hati berkata....it is so fine, you will find a way....just follow your heart. do not force yourself to do something that you are not happy with. it is not worth it.

i am so 'kata hati' kinda person. so here we go hati....make sure u are right. or else. i will sure menjerit * i'm screwed!*

i'm a free bird.fly high fly high.

i have doubts. i am amused that i have doubts.

i just hate it why i always let myself involved with craps. i just hate it when people cheat about big things to me. i just hate it more, that the same person who tells me that it is not good to lie, cheated on me. blerghhh.

i don't have to be in love with you for you to not to lie to me. we don't have to be boyfriend-girlfriend, for you not to lie to me. we don't have to be in an exclusive relationship, then for you not to lie to me.

my rule for every relationship, be it friends, lovers, family, is for us to be honest, frank and genuine. when i am being completely genuine, i expect you to do just the same. is that hard?

i always remind myself not to be judgmental, not to be superficial, not to be mean, to always take things the way they are.

now i really feel like throwing these questions to you. what else did you lied? how much more will you tell? why did you lied? what was your intention?

do not scratch this bit much respect that i still have for you..

get classy ~ please.

supermodel look. skinny and hot [that include dry pale skin, strong sharp jaws with extra-licious bad breath]. chin up shoulders straight, walk like a supermodel with pride, mouth..pouted [overrated] . she put the glasses on, wearing sleeveless top [ those boobs aren't impressive at all, for the record ] . spreading the vibes of ' m the hottest on the planet' kinda thing.

she wants to pass the cash. she lift her arms..opppppsss!!!! bushes under the arms???
oucchhh. shame.



p/s : get a blade.this one now come in patterns. and it is not even $20! and yes i got one of those too. do the world no harm babe. = D

= /

i also have a right to live my life. i also have a right, darling, in this life.i have a right. you have a right.so that life can be easier.

you are a father, i am a mother
you are Adam and i am Eve
it would be tough and unjust
if Adam lives and Eve dies




i am not saying, i should be the strongest or something like that. i am not saying, i should be the strongest and you are the weakest.

you are half
i am half
just like the winter and the summer..

*copyrighted*

happy two thousand eleven!

wish list. or new year resolution. it's a cliche..it's a trend. but since everyone is having one. may be i should have ten?

hurm. first and foremost. the most important thing i need at this moment is a car. so most probably i will have my first car by end of February. working on it!

i'm planning for a new job. more relevance to my degree. at least the one that will treat me more like a human being rather than make me feel like i am a machine. robotic-machine that when you hit the button it starts non stop until you hit the stop button at 7 pm in the evening. pffft ~!!

i wanna grow my hair. i promise this time i won't cut it no more.

i wanna reach 58 kg..ahem. okay okay..make it 60 by June. (well not that fat though but if i can have some fellas getting confused..something like..'is that SheiL or Scarlett Johansson??' would be... why not??!!!) hhahahahhaha. ok i knaw..i knaw. you wanna kill me??hahah *perasan*

double the efforts to find the guy of my life..i am so ready! phhheeewsss. *blushy-winks*

i wanna smile to strangers more often whenever i board the train. yeayyyy *wakil rakyat-the spirit!*

to be continued....lost.
*lunch break at 2 haha.*