i wish..i had say something

there are things that are felt...and not spoken..and..when i want to ask for them...
I can't
and if you do them after i ask for them..then there's no use.

there are things that are felt and not spoken that hurt the heart..but it don't show. And i stay tired all the time in between telling you or not saying a word...

i can't TELL you..'change your whole approach of loving me..' or have some jealousy towards me or surprise me once and bring me a gift.

or

that 'my eyes experience something..i have not done before'.

i can't tell you..'make the world a more beautiful place in my eyes...and change things in me..'

no matter how close you to me or from me.

i can't tell you the way i want our life to be. you should know for yourself that way i want our life to be.

sometimes it appears that i have stayed quiet and calmed down, pleased , and gotten used to it


this doesn't mean that i have given up. and sometime you feel that i have gotten bored of this....though....im just hiding the tiredness


oohhh my love..don't let me reach a stage where i'd say ' i wish i had spoken and said something '

[ nancy ajram 'fe hagat' and yess i love nancy! ]

just another..L-A-M-E update ~

she thinks she is good at writing...so she starts blogging...BUT when she blogs ~ it ended up with just two lame posts...yet she is ~~~~ a good writer...but it seems like lately...the skill is just unpolished or can't be polished..no matter how hard she tries..like EVERYDAY she wanted to...she just failed..turned down and just stop.

what happened?????

well..NOTHING's happenning! that is why ~! it is almost five months of journey [ of ohhhh a very chalengging..rough..hard..awesomely downgrading.. ]....still not much promises...and the one and only thing that is stable now is just

F-A-M-i-L-Y : the one she holds on to and the one who give unconditionally supports no matter what . = )

though...she starts to believe that something BIG and special is gonna happen..the signs is there but often..oftenly signs are merely signs of nothing so she thoughts ~ 'hang on there sweetheart...take it slow..take it just easy'...nothing can happen with NOTHING.

and

so..... she is actually waiting.............................